TRYING TO CHASE THE WIND...

Yet still having to be on time...

Journal: Trying to chase the wind, yet still having to be on time. Lately & admittedly I’ve had a heavy heart. Motherhood in all its splendour and beauty has surely refined itself to be an open stream of many emotions with but little time to luxuriously dwell, process, mull, sift, ponder and find clarity. The introvert melancholy in me has been collecting dust, I see her from afar, I wave and say -- “I’ll chat to you later” --- a later that sometimes never comes. I have stretched, grown, adapted, wrestled and surrendered to let the hours between alone time grow kilometres apart. But lately, as the dust is collected, right at the most imperfect of times tears stream in desperation to let a thousand spaghetti thoughts out into the atmosphere. I often ponder how my once human nature required lengths of open space to be a considerable functioning human, I never thought of time alone to be such luxury, now I bottle it like gold. My current streams of consciousness ponder how one can tackle the worlds greatest feat - motherhood, without such space --- it’s a beautiful world where the days start early, the coffee is strong & rhythm is often disjointed. We all have our challenges when we are gifted by God to hold his stars in our hands --- the longer I walk, the further I see that refreshment only comes in one form, & one form alone. Not by might, not by power, but by the spirit of the Lord. To all the tired eyed Mummas, God sees every little sigh, let your heart not grow weary doing good, you my dear are doing the worlds greatest job. Sometimes that’s all we need to hear. Now breathe (and get a babysitter for the night) #motherhood